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""How Do I...""Your most popular questions about your invitations and wording answered

Author: Jennifer - Internet Sales Coordinator & Team LeaderAugust 2007

Working at Invitation Consultants, you tend to become an etiquette expert, simply because consulting with brides regarding etiquette is a part of our job! After awhile, you can see some frequently asked questions emerge. We decided to ask our staff for a list of commonly asked questions that we hear often and give our best answers, so that you have all the information you need to order your invitations. Here are some of our most common questions to help you with your invitation etiquette!

How do I let my guests know who is invited?
You can use the invitation envelope for this. If your invitations come with inner and outer envelopes, you would address the outer envelopes using proper names, ex. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. On the inner envelopes, you would use the informal names of the people you would like to invite only, ex. John and Judy. If your invitations have only outer envelopes, you would again use the proper names for addressing. However, if you are inviting the family rather than just the parties that the envelope is addressed to, you could use "and family" in addition to the proper names.

How do I inform my guests that my wedding and reception are adults only?
Traditional etiquette states that you should not use "No Children Please" or "Adults Only" on your invitation or respond card. However, we have seen this often on respond cards and even invitations. We recommend addressing your invitations to only the parties who you wish to invite. However, if you would like some extra assurance, ask a family member to spread the word. Another option is if you have a wedding website that you are referring your guests to, you can list your request there.

How do I honor those who are contributing to my wedding in the invitation wording?
You have the option of using any family members contributing to the wedding as the hosts of the wedding. The first line of your invitation would read "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Miller request the honor of your presence." Sometimes, complicated family situations make using this wording impossible. If this is the case for you, you may want to consider honoring family members in another way, such as thanking them on the wedding program for all of their support.

How do I let my guests know that we would prefer money for our honeymoon instead of a traditional wedding gift?
This is another instance where traditional etiquette fails to show a proper way to do this, at least on your invitation. We recommend going about this in a different way, such as asking a family member to spread the word or posting on your wedding website (if you have one) that monetary gifts are perfectly acceptable.

How do I know what to put for my "RSVP by" date?
That depends on your wedding. Are you having a destination wedding? If so, chances are that you are going to need to know far in advance how many people are planning to attend. Another thing to consider is when your reception location needs to know the guest total for your reception. If none of these factors come into play, we recommend having the guests RSVP 4-6 weeks before the wedding date.

How do I let my guests know that the ceremony is private, but they are invited to the reception?
You would need to be very specific in your wording on your invitation. You would want to say that you are going to be married in a private ceremony, but invite your guests to attend a reception in honor of your marriage. You would include all necessary information, such as the date, time and location.

Invitation Consultants also features an etiquette section online, where we answer your most pressing questions. We address questions that you may have before ordering, when ordering and after ordering. By providing you information that you need to order your invitations, we hope that you will be receiving your perfect invitation!